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Category: Love
A response to Rabbi Daniel Rabin on marriage equality
Rabbi Daniel Rabin posted the following on Facebook:
Was a great experience to chat with some of the Year 12 students at Bialik College today and discuss homosexuality in Judaism and issues surrounding same-sex marriage and the upcoming postal vote.
Some of the things we talked about was the great sensitivity and emotion surrounding this topic and the need to be incredibly mindful that there are differences of opinion in this regard.
People on both sides need to respect the differing views.
It is totally unacceptable to denigrate, insult or hurt others because they don’t share your opinion.
I have seen signs of “Stop the Fags” posted around and I think that is disgraceful. I have written previously, in particular about the Jewish community, that we need to be accepting and inclusive of all Jews regardless of their sexual orientation. Signs like these can cause vulnerable people to take their lives.
At the same time, if someone does not support the marriage act changing, don’t immediately call them homophobic or assume they are being hateful or bigoted.
I encourage civilized conversation on both sides and hope we can live our lives with mutual respect, courtesy and care for one another.
Rabbi Rabin is president of The Rabbinic Council of Victoria. On September 4 the RCV issued this statement (incorrectly dated September 9):
Daniel Rabin is also the rabbi at the North Eastern Jewish Centre (NEJC) in Doncaster. I grew up in Doncaster and attended the synagogue there in the 1980s and 90s. I went to Sunday school there and had my bar mitzvah there. The religious community there was a big part of my life and that of my family for many years.
I also attended Bialik College in the early 1980s.
When I was at the NEJC and at Bialik I was struggling with my sexuality. I had been struggling with it since around 1979, and the struggle continued for 16 years until 1996. During this time I had no support, no positive role models and no one to tell me that I wasn’t broken, wasn’t an aberration, wasn’t an abomination and wasn’t abnormal. I was also incessantly bullied on my perceived sexuality for most of my school years.
After I came to terms with my sexuality I stopped attending NEJC, withdrew my financial support and stopped active religious observance because I was repulsed that part of the Orthodox religious service was to read a passage from the Torah that said men who slept with men were an abomination and that the penalty for doing this was their life, or words much to that effect.
Words can hurt, even if they are token.
In 2017, the rabbi of my former synagogue has told students at my former school that people, people like him, who oppose equal treatment of all citizens under the law of Australia should not be considered homophobic, or assumed to be hateful or bigoted.
That’s fair enough. He is perfectly entitled to express those views. However simultaneously he should not be surprised when people, people like me, look at the words he uses and wonder how he could not possibly be seen to be homophobic, or assumed to be hateful or bigoted.
What Rabbi Rabin is doing is in effect asking for the law to treat people in a heterosexual relationship in a manner that advantages them over people who are in other types of legal, consensual relationships. His arguments and his logic are spurious, drawing from speculation, fear-mongering and deliberate misinformation.
Rabbi Rabin is welcome to practice his faith and to express his religious obligations within the sphere of Halacha and the remit of his responsibilities as both a congregational rabbi and the president of the Rabbinical Council of Victoria. However he is not welcome to interfere in the lives of people who wish to enter into civil marriages, especially those people who are not doing so in an Orthodox Jewish context.
To my mind, it appears as bigotry when I see religious leaders using their faith to treat as lesser or deny certain people the same rights they enjoy under civil law.
To my mind, it does appear hateful, not to mention deceitful and disingenuous, when religious leaders imply or infer that children raised by both biological parents are more deserving of their parents than children of adoptive, same-sex, gender-diverse and other parenting configurations.
To my mind, it does appear homophobic when religious leaders use their authority to spread misinformation, lies and deceitful propaganda about homosexual people, the relationships we have, the indignities we endure, and the intolerance and discrimination we face.
Rabbi Rabin asks for respect. He forgets that respect is earned, not demanded. At present, while Rabbi Rabin asks for people, people like him, to deny me the right to marry the man I love, the man I want to have look after me in sickness and in health, the man who I would give my life for, I feel little respect for his views.
Rabbi Daniel Rabin could learn a few things from those who want to remove discrimination under the law, not enforce it. He may be a teacher of Torah, but he is yet to become a teacher of humanity.
Postscript – September 7 2017
Rabbi Daniel Rabin has issued a personal apology on Facebook for the RCV statement:
I accept this apology and call for the RCV to withdraw their statement and issue a similar apology for the hurt and insensitivity of their actions.
A letter to Angus Taylor, MP for Hume
Angus Taylor, MP for Hume, believes in reducing risk factors for youth suicide and a strong economy, yet has campaigned against marriage equality.
From: Michael Barnett
Date: 17 July 2015 at 13:33
Subject: An urgent message about the mental health of youth in Hume
To: “Angus Taylor (MP for Hume)” <angus.taylor@nsw.liberal.org.au>
Dear Mr Taylor,
I wish to convey to you an important concern of mine regarding the mental health of young people in Hume.
First though, I would first like to reflect on your maiden speech to Parliament in December 2013.
In opening, you reminded us that you were representing your electorate:
Mr TAYLOR (Hume) (16:40): I rise with great pride on behalf of the people of the electorate of Hume.
You then described the diversity of Hume and that for the most part the people wanted the government not to dictate how they lived their lives:
My constituents range from ultra-progressives, particularly close to Canberra, right through to hardcore conservatives. But in the middle is a great swathe of people who are fairly moderate and mostly tolerant and who want government to get off their backs so that they can get on with their lives.
Of your grandfather, you spoke of him in the highest regard, how he judged people on their actions, not on who they were.
My grandfather treated every single person with whom he came into contact, from humble truck drivers to senior engineers, with equal dignity and respect. He abhorred snobbery and judged people on character and conduct, not rank.
You told us economics was your passion at university and how you saw the discipline was vital to a functioning society:
At the University of Sydney I found law interesting and rigorous, but it never pushed my buttons like economics. Economics is about making smarter use of limited resources to make people better off. It shapes history and society at every level. Good economics is the key to good government, job creation and funding for world-class schools, health services, roads, railways and broadband networks.
You also told us you learnt how to get to the nub of the issue:
I learnt to think strategically, to focus on the two or three things that really matter.
You spoke of taking on new ideas, putting a stop to harmful ideology and embracing authentic education:
Meanwhile, we must embrace innovation from all over the globe,… We need to get smart, stop the ideological warfare and focus on great teaching.
You told us there are those who need our help the most:
I want to know that we will look after our most vulnerable…
Again, you reminded us whose best interests you are here to represent, namely the people of Hume:
And in this place I will back the parliament over the executive and the judiciary, because it is through this parliament that each of us here is accountable to our constituents.
In closing, you told us purpose of you being in public office was to make society a better place:
Some people say politics is about power. I do not agree. It should be about leadership, service and making an enduring difference to the lives of others. I hope the work I do in this place makes a real difference and will one day make my children proud. Thank you.
In October 2014 you addressed Parliament on the important topic of suicide. You spoke of how it greatly impacted young people in particular and how the community was working hard to reduce risk factors:
In the Goulburn area, in my electorate of Hume, suicide rates are disturbingly high, particularly amongst young people. Preventing further suicides is a goal motivating many local families, a number who have already lost loved ones to suicide. In 2003 a Goulburn suicide working group was formed to look at positive ways to address the issues and to target risk-taking behaviours.
You reiterated it’s our youth it affects the most and that we must embrace innovation (a value you spoke of in your first speech) to address it:
Three-quarters of all mental illness manifests itself in people under 25. The links between mental illness, depression and suicide are well known and well documented so, as a caring community, we have a duty to continue finding new and better ways to raise awareness about the risks of suicide.
Mr Taylor, I come to the purpose of my letter to you. I am equally concerned about the welfare of young Australians and how we can do our best to mitigate risk factors contributing to poor mental health. The inescapable reality is that a percentage of youth in Hume will be same-sex attracted and/or gender-diverse. There is an understood link between poor mental health outcomes for these people and any discrimination they face:
Same-sex attracted Australians are more likely to experience below-average health outcomes including higher levels of depression, due to this prejudice and discrimination. The statistics are particularly alarming for younger and newly-identifying LGBTI people who have consistently higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness, early school leaving, conflict with peers and parents and suicide ideation, all directly related to the discrimination and prejudice they experience.[v]
http://www.glhv.org.au/files/writing_themselves_in_again.pdf
In September 2012 you campaigned against reform to marriage:
When the Post contacted his preferred successor, Liberal candidate for Hume Angus Taylor, he said he would also strive to keep the status-quo.
He didn’t believe the Hume community was “ready” for it and wouldn’t be “any time soon”.
“Social change is slow, and although the proponents of gay marriage are many and their voices are strong, our community is crying out for many things ahead of this,” Mr Taylor said.
“I know some will say that I should show leadership on these sorts of issues, but I will focus my leadership on issues that are less symbolic, and more practical.
“I have sympathy for both sides of this debate, and I understand the indignation that some gay couples feel about this.
“I equally understand the indignation of people who are seriously opposed to gay marriage.
However, I will not be a crusader in driving this kind of change.”
You told us in your first speech in 2013 of your electorate: “in the middle is a great swathe of people who are fairly moderate and mostly tolerant and who want government to get off their backs …” Are these not the majority of the people in Hume, the ones who want the government not to dictate who can marry whom, “… so that they can get on with their lives.”?
You may want to uphold the status quo on marriage, but you’ve told us to don’t want to uphold the status quo on youth suicide. You told us you don’t want to be a crusader on marriage equality, but you told us in your 2014 speech you were a crusader for getting a Headspace centre in Goulburn.
If you want to reduce the rate of youth suicide in Hume, if you want to mitigate the risk factors, you need to employ your strategic thinking and focus on the issues that really matter. You need to be innovative, look to those other places around the globe and see what other enlightened countries are doing and have done. Maintaining the status quo on marriage is far from innovative, is driven by that ideological warfare you want to put a halt to, and is just not smart.
You say you have sympathy for those denied the right to get married, but in upholding the status quo, unlike your grandfather, you are not treating them with equal dignity and respect. You say you also have sympathy for those who do have the right to get married, but they will not lose any civil rights if you support marriage equality. As a politician representing the best interests of your electorate, giving people more rights is not something you should ever back away from.
You claimed the focus of getting into office would be on less symbolic, more practical leadership issues. Supporting an initiative such as marriage equality, known to reduce risk factors leading to poor mental health, is one such practical issue you can show leadership on. It doesn’t require funding and it will actually reduce burdens on society.
Marriage equality also has significant economic benefits. You said economics is about making smarter use of limited resources to make people better off. It’s a no-brainer, Mr Taylor. You would have to be a hypocrite to go against marriage equality, simply knowing it brings economic advantage. You said good economics is the key to good government. I put it to you that bad economics is the key to bad government. You cannot say with hand on heart you are undertaking good government while you are willingly limiting economic potential.
Are you looking after the most vulnerable, those innocent same-sex attracted and gender diverse youth, when you tell them the status quo is satisfactory? These young people, maybe your children, cannot have maximum hope for their future, hope to celebrate life the same as their peers, if you do not support their right to be equal under the law in society.
You told us politics is about making an enduring difference to the lives of others. You also told us you hope the work you do makes a real difference. You also want to one day make your children proud. If you support marriage equality you will make that enduring difference to the lives of others. It will make a real difference. It will also make your children especially proud, given research shows the vast number of young people support marriage equality. Do not be an embarrassing father to them when they see their father shamefully vote against equality.
You have the power to make a difference. Cross the floor if necessary. Stand up for your values. Honour your grandfather’s memory. Make your children proud. Tell the parents of those suicide victims that you will do whatever it takes to make sure all children of Hume have fewer reasons to want to take their lives, even if the decisions are unpopular with some.
Thank you.
Michael Barnett.
Ashwood, VIC.
A letter to Ross Vasta, MP for Bonner
Ross Vasta, MP for Bonner, must declare his support for marriage equality if he wants to reduce the rate of mental health issues in his electorate and remain consistent with his values.
From: Michael Barnett
Date: 15 July 2015 at 03:37
Subject: An urgent message about the mental health of youth in Bonner
To: “Ross Vasta (MP for Bonner)” <ross.vasta.mp@aph.gov.au>
Dear Mr Vasta,
I’ve been reflecting on the first speech you gave in Parliament, some 11 years ago on November 18, 2004. You made some excellent points. Please allow me to journey through them with you.
Opening, you paid significant tribute to the namesake of your electorate, the late Liberal Senator, Neville Bonner:
It is with humility that I stand here before you today as the first member for the newly created seat of Bonner. This seat was named after a great Queenslander who also happened to be a great Liberal, Senator Neville Bonner. Senator Bonner was the first Aboriginal Australian elected to the federal parliament. During his 12 years in the Senate he was a conscientious parliamentarian, respected by both sides of politics. In his 16 years after leaving the Senate he was a much esteemed elder statesman of Australian public life. It is only fitting that his life and contribution to this country has now been so formally recognised and his name given to Queensland’s newest federal seat.
Interestingly, Neville Bonner was far from the conformist, as is noted:
“He crossed the floor 23 times,” says Libby Stewart, a senior historian at the Museum of Australian Democracy. “He always said that he was a bit of rebel,” she adds, “that he didn’t toe the party line, that he was a proud member of the party, but not a blind member.”
You recalled the efforts and achievements of your family:
Always in that time they have worked hard, they have prayed hard and they have dreamed hard.
and how they were instrumental in making Australia the great country it is, one that so many aspire to live in:
… they also helped to build this country and make it the prosperous, decent, open and tolerant society it is today… a beacon of hope and an example showing that people of all races, creeds and colours can live and work together and create a peaceful and successful future for their children.
You spoke of opportunities:
My grandfathers and their families believed passionately in Australia, in the opportunities that Australia offered and the rewards she bestowed on those prepared to work hard, play fair and live right.
and dreams:
They believed in the dream shared by all Australians—a better life and a better future for their children—and they lived that dream.
Understanding that society is about and for people, you said:
… people matter and that with goodwill and people’s support things can be achieved for the greater good.
With wisdom, you declared:
I do believe that governments must govern for all Australians …
Poignantly you said:
I will work to ensure that my constituents do not become forgotten people, and my actions as the member for Bonner will be guided by my beliefs as a Liberal. I believe that the role of government is to remove obstacles so that people can be free to pursue their dreams and realise their potential.
You spoke of supporting families, the foundation of community:
I believe that strong families make for strong communities and we must do everything possible to support them.
As you drew to the end of your speech you reflected on a person of significance, someone you deeply admired:
I would also like to pay special tribute to the late Arthur Scurr MBE, a much respected local community leader in Brisbane’s south side. He was a true gentleman, and his open-mindedness to new ideas, his commitment to the community and his tireless work will be missed by us all.
You gave thanks to your electorate and promised to not disappoint them:
Most importantly, I thank the people of Bonner for placing their trust in me and electing me as the first member for this new seat. My commitment to you is strong and simple: I will work with diligence, commitment and enthusiasm to justify your trust in me.
In closing, you spoke of putting in the effort to improve society:
As I embark on this new journey I hope that—just as my ancestors have, through their hard work, contributed to building this great nation—I too will be able to help to make the electorate of Bonner and Australia an even better place to live.
I admire these values you stand for Mr Vasta, but please allow me to take you further on this journey.
Just over three years ago, in March 2012, you addressed Parliament and spoke of how mental health is a significant issue facing the people, and in particular the youth, of Bonner and Australia:
Mr Deputy Speaker, I rise this evening to bring to houses attention a very important issue in the electorate of Bonner and indeed the wider Australian community – that is the issue of mental health.
…
The time to tackle mental illness is when it first occurs. The prevalence of mental health problems declines with age. It is our younger Australians – those between 16 and 24 – who bear the brunt of mental illness. Evidence shows that with early and targeted treatment many young people can overcome their problems and lead socially and economically productive lives with lower incidence of progression or relapse.
I can relate to this as I experienced significant mental health issues through my teens and early twenties. I was still forming my identity in life and was struggling to accept my sexual orientation, for I was entirely without support in this regard for the best part of 16 years.
The inescapable reality is that a percentage of youth in Bonner will be same-sex attracted and/or gender-diverse. There is an understood link between poor mental health outcomes for these people and any discrimination they face:
Same-sex attracted Australians are more likely to experience below-average health outcomes including higher levels of depression, due to this prejudice and discrimination. The statistics are particularly alarming for younger and newly-identifying LGBTI people who have consistently higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness, early school leaving, conflict with peers and parents and suicide ideation, all directly related to the discrimination and prejudice they experience.[v]
http://www.glhv.org.au/files/writing_themselves_in_again.pdf
Only a few weeks ago you indicated you weren’t prepared to state how you would vote if you were offered a conscience vote on marriage equality:
LNP Federal Member for Bonner Ross Vasta said did not want to comment on how he would vote on marriage equality if a conscious vote was called.
“What I’m really focused on is getting on with telling the electorate the good news about the (Federal) budget,” he said.
I urge you to think deeply about your position on marriage equality, on what it actually means, how it aligns with your stated values and how it can make Bonner a better place for its citizens.
You told us of the dreams of your forebears. Please think about the dreams of the young people of Bonner and also those of their families and friends. I speak of the dreams that a young kid has to marry the person of their choice, irrespective of their gender, and if they choose, and in whatever way they can, raise a family with their spouse.
Would you want to deny that child that dream, to have their special day amongst their family and friends? Would you want to deny a child the opportunity to see their same-sex parents get married, whilst their peers can attend the weddings of their opposite-sex parents, should such circumstances arise?
How sad the day when we deny someone the opportunity to celebrate their love in a time-honoured tradition such as marriage. I trust that you understand marriage is not a prerequisite for child-birth, but that marriage does afford families stability.
You said Australia is a tolerant society, yet your actions disagree with your words, given your strong resistance to tolerating the right for two people to marry, irrespective of gender. Unlike Neville Bonner, you have yet to cross the floor even once to stand up for your values, your party’s values. Did you forget that the role of government is to remove obstacles so that people can be free to pursue their dreams and realise their potential?
You spoke of not letting your constituents become forgotten people, yet in not calling for reform in marriage you are forgetting those people who you have said do not deserve marriage. You are leaving them without, like the one kid that misses out on getting a lolly at a party or the child who gets a broken toy for Christmas. Would you want your children to be the one who is forgotten or who gets second best?
Reflect on your praise for Arthur Scurr’s open-mindedness to new ideas, a quality you valued in him. Walk in his footsteps a little. His shoes sounded big. Yes, marriage equality is a fairly new idea. But it brings happiness to families. It reduces those risk factors that contribute to mental health issues. It makes families stronger and in doing so, helps build community. That is your dream.
The people of Bonner placed their trust in you. They didn’t vote for you to allow their 16-24-year-olds to have poor mental health outcomes or fill the graves in the cemetery. They voted for you because they knew you could achieve better for them, that you could improve Bonner and make it that better place.
You owe it to them to support whatever it takes to improve the community, and if that is an unpopular decision, if it means crossing the floor at least once, if it means supporting your party’s forgotten values, then that’s what you must do. For if you don’t, you will have failed the people of Bonner, you will have failed your community, you will have failed Australia, and most sadly, you will have failed yourself and your family.
You have the power to make Bonner a better place. You have the power to help people achieve dreams. If you govern for all the people of Bonner, as is your desire, you can make this happen.
Sincerely,
Michael Barnett.
Ashwood, VIC.
A letter to Ann Sudmalis, MP for Gilmore
Ann Sudmalis, MP for Gilmore is reviewing her perspective on marriage equality, but she must do more than just poll her electorate if she wishes to do her best for Gilmore.
From: Michael Barnett
Date: 14 July 2015 at 03:45
Subject: An urgent message about the mental health of youth in Gilmore
To: “Ann Sudmalis (MP for Gilmore)” <ann.sudmalis@nsw.liberal.org.au>
Dear Mrs Sudmalis,
Not quite two years ago you gave your opening address to Parliament, December 10 2013. I’d like to take you back to that day, to reflect on some of the important messages you delivered, if I may.
Starting big you invoked two modern giants. You quoted JFK:
‘Ask not what your country can do for you but, rather, what you can do for your country’
and said of Nelson Mandela:
[he] not only did something for his country but is iconic for developing community self-belief.
Indeed, two visionaries who left an indelible mark on society.
You suggested that rather than look to change the whole country at once we focus on a more manageable challenge:
For some of us the idea of doing something for our country is too broad, a little too big, a concept meant for others, something grand perhaps only for heroes, perhaps something to do with pilots, sailors or soldiers. But humans live in groups each best described as a community, so for us as Australians our question is to ask not what we can do for our country but rather what can we do for our community.
Looking at possible generational change in attitude you suggested we could be more effective as a society if we worked together rather than for our own individual causes:
I am tired of this ‘I, me and mine’ dominating the media and seeping into the mindset of our children and our youth. It is overdone and overdue. We need a change back to the Aussie way. We are famous for a ‘we, ours and us’ way of looking at the world.
You called for collective contribution for the greater good and your desire to see this in action:
So if each one of us does something for our community we will make life just a little better and our whole country will benefit. It is this ideal of making things better, of giving back to the community, that has brought me here as a member of parliament.
Of your grandmother you spoke fondly about all people being equal and of reaping what you sow:
My much-loved gran … taught me generosity of spirit, that we are all equal in God’s eyes, that your actions will always come back to you like a boomerang…
In a not so dissimilar experience to mine, we attended a number of schools. You made many friends and learnt something valuable from each:
My education, like many Australian children, was not completed in a single primary school nor followed by a single high school. I was in fact blessed, although I did not see it that way at the time, by moving frequently and having to make new friends along the way, and learning to accept all the different experiences.
You reminded us about the important of personal contribution to society:
Giving back to the community has always been important to me.
In the spirit of the Liberal Party ethos of individual freedoms you spoke:
Everyone in this chamber is here to represent their community to the best of their ability, … l am proud to be part of the team that works to reward individual endeavour, to help people to their feet and allow them the independence of their own choices.
You thanked the people of Gilmore, and told us that together with all of them you want to achieve success:
I deeply honour those in Gilmore who decided to put their faith in me to help change the government for Australia. I also respect those who did not, for we have a robust democracy in this nation. Now we must work together to achieve great things. I am determined to make sure the trust and honour granted to me is not misplaced.
Your spoke with praise of the collective ability of your electorate, your desire to not leave anyone stranded and to make Gilmore a better place:
Gilmore has extraordinary human capacity and amazing potential. It is time that we in our region believe this, to lift our community, and its self-respect, to begin the process of achievement and hope, rather than denial of individual merit. We who are leaders—whether community leaders, elected leaders or opinion makers—have a responsibility to increase the social value in our community’s own eyes, despite our own political bias. It is time to go beyond the facade of perception and look at the true worth of our community.
Again you called on JFK:
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?
and in summation aspired to making Gilmore a better place:
Yes, indeed, it seriously is time to ask: what can we do for our community? From the innocence of childhood to the cynicism of adulthood, it is time for a change for the better. It is time for ‘we will’. The responsibility is ours. It is absolutely up to us to make things better and make a difference. Thank you.
Last month you issued a statement, presenting facts on anxiety and how it can be so harmful to young people:
In Australia, one in six people aged between 16 – 24 years are currently experiencing an anxiety condition. This means that affected young people are constantly worrying, unable to relax, and have trouble sleeping and difficulty concentrating on things like work and study.
You went on to say:
Anything that helps our youth to defeat anxiety and stress is a great social improver.
Beyond Blue make the following statement about depression and anxiety:
While depression and anxiety are different conditions, it is not uncommon for them to occur at the same time. Over half of those who experience depression also experience symptoms of anxiety. In some cases, one can lead to the onset of the other.
The inescapable reality is that a percentage of youth in Gilmore will be same-sex attracted and/or gender-diverse. There is an understood link between poor mental health outcomes for these people and any discrimination they face:
Same-sex attracted Australians are more likely to experience below-average health outcomes including higher levels of depression, due to this prejudice and discrimination. The statistics are particularly alarming for younger and newly-identifying LGBTI people who have consistently higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness, early school leaving, conflict with peers and parents and suicide ideation, all directly related to the discrimination and prejudice they experience.[v]
http://www.glhv.org.au/files/writing_themselves_in_again.pdf
In September 2013 you made the following statement on marriage equality:
“For goodness sakes, this electorate does not want marriage equality. And where on earth did that become a priority issue in this seat where we’re looking at infrastructure and unemployment? Those are the issues that count in this seat,” she said.
and earlier in June you made the following statement:
“We have a very conservative seat and from the huge number of emails and letters I have received, people don’t want to see a change,” she said.
“So I will be saying no.
In recent days you spoke of the poll you are conducting on marriage equality in Gilmore and how you want to hear from the people and not be influenced by your personal beliefs:
Mrs Sudmalis said it was irrelevant how she felt about the issue because it was her job to collect comments from the community.
Sometimes listening to your community and not having a conversation with them is taking the easy way out. You’re sending out 65,000 surveys. I expect you plan inform your views on marriage equality from the results of this survey. I hope you do not do this in a vacuum.
I say this because of what you believe in and what you stand for. What are you doing for your country, or your community? What are you doing to develop community self-belief? If you simply accept those wishes to uphold the status quo are you giving anything back to the community, for it’s greater good, or are you just taking the easy way out?
You spoke of the amazing potential of the people of Gilmore. Do you believe a survey will draw on this potential? I’d be surprised if you genuinely felt it did.
What about the self-respect of the community, and the possibility of achievement and hope? Can a community whose same-sex attracted and gender diverse youth who experience anxiety, and who cannot aspire to enjoy the same celebrations of life as their heterosexual gender binary counterparts, share in that self-respect and hope for a wonderful future?
How is denying individuals the right to marry the person they love not “denial of individual merit”? Surely we are all equal and worth the same, going by the understanding your grandmother instilled in you. By removing the hope and aspiration of young people you are contributing to their poorer mental health outcomes, which lead to anxiety and depression.
Yet you support any initiative to “defeat anxiety and stress”, of which marriage equality is demonstrated to be one. But if the majority of your electorate tells you they don’t want to support marriage equal how are you standing by this claim of yours?
Please remember the words of JFK, that you quoted in your opening speech:
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?
Mrs Sudmalis, are you that person who looks at marriage as the crumbling and exclusive institution that it is in an “I, me and mine” way or are you that person who dreams of an improved marriage that brings together the people of Gilmore in a “we, ours and us” way; in a way that paves a change for the better; in a way that helps people to their feet and allows them the independence of their own choices; in a way that allows you to respect the different experiences of your friends in same-sex relationships or who are children with gay mums or dads?
If you are true to your word, and I believe you are, you must stand up for equality, you must treat the people of Gilmore with respect and you must improve its social value despite your political bias. When do you, you’ll throw that boomerang and it will deliver you a healthier, happier and more productive community. You can then look up and thank your gran for her wisdom and reflect on the what you did for your community, for the people of Gilmore.
Sincerely,
Michael Barnett.
Ashwood, VIC.
Message to Federal MP for Murray Sharman Stone on Marriage Equality & Youth Suicide
Sharman Stone, Federal MP for Murray, is failing the people of her electorate by not supporting marriage equality.
“Our rural youth, descendants of the pioneers who overcame the harshest conditions, now take their own lives at rates which are amongst the highest in the Western world.”
“I want to assure the electorate of Murray that I … willingly take up the challenge of helping to deliver to them … the standards of human services that are essential if our region is ever to reach its full potential.”
Sharman Stone – First Speech – May 6 1996.
Same-sex attracted Australians are more likely to experience below-average health outcomes including higher levels of depression, due to this prejudice and discrimination. The statistics are particularly alarming for younger and newly-identifying LGBTI people who have consistently higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness, early school leaving, conflict with peers and parents and suicide ideation, all directly related to the discrimination and prejudice they experience.[v]
http://www.glhv.org.au/files/writing_themselves_in_again.pdf
Sharman Stone voted very strongly against same-sex marriage equality
Put a Marriage Equality statement in your wedding ceremony
Put a Marriage Equality statement in your wedding ceremony. It’s important and it’s easy to do.
My husband Gregory and I went to Canberra for the wedding of our friends Melanie and Ari on December 7 2014. That day was also the first anniversary of same-sex marriages being temporarily legalised in the Australian Capital Territory.
Ari invited me to deliver a message of Marriage Equality at the wedding, as a friend of his who is an activist for marriage equality and as a man who was recently married to a man in New Zealand. I was honoured to have been asked and without hesitation I accepted.
Ari and Mel object to the Federal government’s refusal to legislate in favour of Marriage Equality in Australia and they, along with an increasing number of opposite-sex couples, are incorporating statements of protest in their wedding ceremonies.
I read the following statement:
Speech for Mel & Ari’s wedding – December 7 2014
Today… the celebrant will declare as a requirement that marriage is the coming together of a woman and a man. Just remember that as these mandatory words are said today my husband Gregory and I stand in defiance of them.
I know Mel and Ari would rather this formality was not part of the proceedings. So rather than let it diminish the occasion, I’m going to treat the clause as a gift from the government, to mark a point in time where we all aspired for greater freedom, equality, dignity and humanity. When the discrimination in the law is erased and marriage is available to all, this will be a memento of the sweet success of that win.
I’m grateful for the friendship Gregory and I have with these two fine people, about to be married here today. We value the respect they have for our relationship and without hesitation we deeply respect theirs. As different as we may be individually, we share a love for our respective partners and in that, our relationships are truly equal.
If you’re attending a wedding between a woman and a man in Australia, ask the bride or groom if they’ve planned a Marriage Equality statement for their ceremony. If they haven’t, send them this article and suggest they do it, in the name of equality. It’s important, and it’s too easy.
“Ask me once again” – Qwerty Girls
This song tells the story of how we fell in love. Despite the current laws against gay marriage, we hold out hope we’ll play this song at our wedding one day.
We are the QWERTY girls. We are partners in life as well as in music.
We would love you to hear our wedding song “Ask Me Once Again”. This song tells the story of how we fell in love. Despite the current laws against gay marriage, we hold out hope we’ll play this song at our wedding one day.
YouTube video:
About the QWERTY girls
The QWERTY girls are:
Aleathea Monsour (singer/composer)
Katy Forde (lyricist).
We live in a beautiful hinterland town in Queensland, Australia. We’ve been together for over a decade, and love each other deeply. We’ve written this song for our wedding day – even though that day might be a few years away, because of the laws in Australia!
About the song
Song name: Ask Me Once Again
Performer: Aleathea Monsour
Songwriters: Aleathea Monsour and Katy Forde
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/ask-me-once-again-single/id911601483?uo=4
My Marriage Vows
My Marriage Vows – January 30, 2014; Queenstown, New Zealand.
January 30, 2014
Stoneridge Estate
Queenstown, New Zealand
I ask everyone here today to witness that I Michael Nathan Barnett choose you Gregory Paul Storer to be my legal husband.
Gregory. If I were asked to describe in one word what you mean to me it would simply be: “Everything”. You mean the world to me – in *so* many ways…
Setting out to climb Mt Amos in Tasmania, a 15 year goal of mine. Reaching the top, together, amazed at our efforts and the breathtaking views surrounding us.
Stopping by the roadside as we return from Mt Gambier to watch a koala bound up it’s tree.
Sitting in a forest at dusk, just us and some tiny bats getting their dinner.
Walking through a Croajingolong coastal heathland filled with the prettiest wild flowers.
Dining on Bala’s curries while enjoying a St Kilda beach sunset, then journeying to see the fairy penguins and the mischievous water rats.
Returning from our first equality rally in Albury to find a magnificent echidna, roadside, digging and snuffling for ants.
Drinks at the Laird enjoying the best of what it means to be a man.
Sharing a dinner of poached salmon and ginger while watching Q&A.
Standing on a 380 million year old mountain range in the Grampians, free from every care in the world.
Coffee and cakes at Grecos with Caitlin & Tomas.
Protesting for our rights at every Equal Love rally.
Brunches at La Cafe and walks along Carlisle Street.
Our kiss, in front of wildly fanatical protestors at the 2012 Global Atheist Convention that starts a worldwide viral sensation.
Standing by your side as you buried your sister and your parents.
Having a fight… and learning from our mistakes.
Your face nuzzled in *my* furry chest. Your arms around me. Your warm kiss on my lips.
Star gazing together into infinity at Mt Baimbridge and Bastion Point. Trying to comprehend the sheer insignificance of our presence in *this* universe. Realizing the meaninglessness of our existence. Marvelling at the scale of just *what* is out there.
He’ll have a long black, make mine a long macchiato… with Equal.
Smoked salmon on Vita Weat.
Despairing together over the plight of those who don’t have a meal, those who don’t have a home, those who don’t have a country, those who have less than us and those who don’t know what they don’t have. Crying, and trying to feel *their* pain.
You finding a tiny orchid on the forest floor, so delicate and pretty, for *me* to photograph.
Transforming our bodies from beyond obese – to amazingly healthy and fit.
Watching skillful New Holland Honeyeaters at Gypsy Point, them – plucking bugs from the air and us – sharing a freshly baked blueberry muffin.
Warming our frozen bodies with a delicious brewed coffee and hot toast and honey at the Sundial carpark.
Gado gado and Bali Coffee at Wong’s Cafe.
Becoming a truly loved son-in-law, brother-in-law and uncle to *my* most immediate family members.
A warm embrace after a long day as we fall asleep – together – in bed.
Interrupting my Cointreau chocolate mousse at Bridges last September in Ubud, to sweep me off my feet with the most unexpected and truly wonderful marriage proposal.
Gregory, YOU are the person who has brought so much into *my* life – every one of these amazing experiences – and *so* much more. Each one different from the other and all equally wondrous.
The first five years of our relationship have been a fantastic journey. I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to completing this journey with you – in whatever form it takes.
Life is unpredictable – and *forever* is hard to comprehend, but I want to do it with you, by your side, for however long we can be together – as your friend… your companion… your adventurer… your activist… your lover… your man… your Mikey Bear…… and your husband.
You can read the vows Gregory said to me here.
The absurd reasoning for his prejudice
“the composed minister calmly repeats the absurd reasoning for his prejudice.”
