Lyle “Monsta Mary” Shelton cancels himself

It’s all about Lyle…

When The Australian ran three hatchet-job front-pages on me a few years back and then stopped putting me on their front page I felt cancelled. Yup, I was like “Shit, The Australian doesn’t love me any more. They loved me enough to put me on their front page three times, but I guess they’re a bit over me now so they’re going to cancel me”. And I accepted being cancelled by The Australian. It took some getting over, but I put my big-boy pants on and got on with my life. And it was good.

Someone who just hasn’t found their big-boy pants is Lyle Shelton. Self-described serial loser, Shelton is chucking a massive tanty because The Courier-Mail has, according to him, cancelled him:

The journalist, Leanne Edminstone, did not seek an interview with me so that I could give my side of the story.

That’s today’s cancel culture in action.

Lyle “I can’t find my big-boy pants” Shelton: “DRAG QUEENS, CANCEL CULTURE AND THE COURIER MAIL”

The poor flopsicle. Really, he thinks he got cancelled by The Courier-Mail. Nah, he didn’t get cancelled. He’s got a huge 10″ platform, bigger than most, and probably beer-can sized too. He’s got his blog, he’s got his twitters, and his facebooks, and he’s even got a pamphlette called “No Shit, Shelton”. There’s nothing remotely cancelled about this dudely dude.

He maya gotten ignored, coz he’s, you know, a serial loser. Couldn’t get it up for marriage. Couldn’t even get it up for Cory, and that’s saying sumpthink, coz Cory’s certainly got that stud-factor, if you can overlook that knuckle-grazing aspect of his personality (although I do know some guys who are quite drawn to that look, but that’s another story).

One might think that ranting and wailing about not being interviewed for a story is puerile, or petulant, or just a little egotistical. And you’re probably right on all three counts.

I bet Shelton is secretly moist about being taken to the QHRC. It probably gives him wood, much like a toothpick, or one of those environmentally friendly cotton-buds made of a sliver of bamboo. He’s revelling in the publicity he’s going to be getting, on his Lyle “woe is me, I’m the victim (again)” Shelton Shit-Show Roadshow. Just watch him. He loves the attention.

Never mind the collateral damage wielded by his homophobia and transphobia. He can’t see that, but he’s good at not seeing it. The real victims are the beautiful queer folk he targets maliciously with his anti-LGBTIQ+ bigotry. But he’s so blind to that because It’s All About Lyle.

Lyle Shelton aka “Monsta Mary”

Leave a Reply