The bitch has died, and I’ll miss him dearly

Addam Stobbs, Bitch Queen to the Melbourne gay community, dies at 3am on Wednesday June 16 2010

Addam Stobbs at the 2009 Midsumma Carnival
Addam Stobbs at the 2009 Midsumma Carnival (photo by Michael Barnett)

News just in that a person who has been a staple in the gay community for at least the past 14 years that I’ve known him has just died.  This is a shock and complete surprise.  Addam Stobbs.  Bitch to the stars.  Gone.

I loved Addam.  He was one of the nicest-to-your-face people I have ever met.  But he was a nice person.  He made me laugh.  Just listening to him talk, on the radio, on a microphone at Midsumma, in the street, on the phone, at Club 80, wherever.  He was a lovely, callous, direct person with a huge heart.

The world needs more bitches like Addam Stobbs.

I’ll miss you sweetie.

Mikey.

[My photos of Addam on Google Photos here and on Facebook here]

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: DP Tex McKenzie <texmcx57@yahoo.com.au>
Date: 16 June 2010 15:13
Subject: [QueerNews] Vale Addam Stobbs
To: Qmelb <qmelb@yahoogroups.com>

Hi all – sad news.  I have just forwrded the following email around the Victorian AIDS Council and People Living With HIV/AIDS Victoria (hence the mention of Addam being a supporter of our organisations).

I have just been on the phone to the Program manager @ JOY 94.9 and have been told that Addam Stobbs passed away today.

Addam was a long time supporter of our organisations and was the host of Allegro Non Troppo on Sundays on JOY.  He was also on the board of JOY and had been a long time member.

Addam has in the past interviewed many people about HIV and same sex related issues.  The program Allegro Non Troppo is broadcast on the Community Radio Network around Australia and the programs he and his radio partner Peter presented helped to de-mystify both HIV and homosexuality to non-alphabet folk.

Earlier this year he and his partner celebrated their 9th year together.

He will be sadly missed by all who knew him.

I imagine funeral details will be in the print media and online in the next few days.

Thanks…

DP Tex McKenzie
Health Educator – Outreach

A Pluralist Panel on Homosexuality & Judaism: comment, photos and my address

I was invited to participate in “A Pluralist Panel on Homosexuality and Judaism” by Hineni (Melbourne) and the Monash Jewish Students Society on Thursday June 3 2010.  The other panelists were Michael Cohen, Rabbi Shamir Caplan (Orthodox), Rabbi Ehud Bandel (Conservative), Rabbi Fred Morgan (Progressive).  Absent from the panel due to illness was Hinde Ena Burstin who was to talk from a Jewish lesbian perspective.

Kudos to the event organisers Hineni and MonJSS for bringing this much-needed discussion to the community.  It is perhaps the first time an intelligent, informed public discussion has been had in the Melbourne Jewish community on anything to do with homosexuality.

It was put to me that the evening was going to be controversial, not so much because of homosexuality being in the topic, but that there was going to be one each of a Progressive, Conservative and Orthodox rabbi (a Neapolitan assortment?) in the same room at the same time.  I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere.  🙂

Aside from a few minor technical and logistical glitches the evening went really well.  Each of the first four speakers delivered their address from their respective professional perspectives with no real surprises or revelations.

The Orthodox perspective given apologised for being intolerant of homosexuality and didn’t offer very much real hope for same-sex attracted people.

The Conservative perspective was up front about being “in the middle” of tradition and change, yet said that gay men and women were equal within the community and their sexuality needed to be taken into account and not ignored.

The Progressive perspective similarly acknowledged the importance of a person’s sexuality and went on to say that the Progressive movement was supportive of same-sex relationships and would acknowledge them as much as possible, yet they weren’t on par with heterosexual relationships.

Both the Conservative and Progressive perspectives put forward also acknowledged that children could be successfully raised in a same-sex relationship, something that the Orthodox perspective didn’t seem to have the capacity to understand.

Audience members were asked to write questions down on paper supplied and then at the end of the panel presentations, a selection of questions would be put to the panelists.  The questions asked were intelligent for the most part but didn’t ask the tough questions that I felt needed to be asked of the rabbis.

What made me most unsettled about the line-up of speakers (aside from me) was that they were all heterosexual men, dictating the terms of acceptance, to one degree or another, of same-sex attracted men and women and our relationships.  I would really like to have seen a female rabbi (yes, they do exist in the Progressive world) or an openly gay one (yes, they do exist) speak on the topic.

My thanks again to Hineni and MonJSS for organising the evening.  My thanks also to my wonderful partner Gregory Storer for giving me the necessary support.  His photographs of the evening can be viewed on Google Albums and Facebook.

My address from the evening is here.

Michael.

Tonight I talk on a pluralist panel on homosexuality and Judaism

image

I am one of six panelists speaking tonight at Monash University. Hineni and MonJSS are hosting a pluralist panel on homosexuality and Judaism.

The other panelists are Michael Cohen, Rabbi Fred Morgan (Progressive), Rabbi Shamir Caplan (Orthodox) and Rabbi Ehud Bandel (Conservative).

It will be an interesting evening to say the least.

More later.

[09/06/10: Read my review of the evening here, along with photos and a link to the address I gave]

Gays in the AFL: don’t out them, recruit them

The AFL Players Association spoke out against homophobia in sport.  Then the Western Bulldog’s Jason Akermanis made a contentious statement that gay sportsmen should not come out because it wouldn’t be safe for them.  Thus ensued a lot of discussion in the mainstream and GLBT media regarding gay men and sport (start here).

It’s been said that the first person to come out will be in the media spotlight and there will be a lot of money to be made out of the story.  Indeed.

At the same time as all of this speculation and discussion, we have in our midst two gay / gay friendly rugby teams – the Sydney Convicts and Melbourne Chargers.  The relevance of this is that it shows gay men can play sport and they can play “a man’s game”.

I contend by corollary that if some gay men can play rugby, one form of football, then some gay men can also play any other form of football, such as soccer or AFL football.  The rules, skills and equipment differ, but overall they’re still games of strategy, discipline, teamwork, brute force and man on man.

Based on the commonality of rugby and AFL football, I can envisage a situation where there would be some talented gay men in the community who could be recruited into a program to develop their skills sufficiently to bring them to a junior or senior competition level.  Admittedly I am fairly naive on the politics and dealings of the footy world but in its simplicity it makes sense to me.

Rather than out the closeted gay men in AFL, the easier path would be to recruit gay men into existing AFL clubs.  This would have the bonus of helping make the environment comfortable enough for closeted players to consider coming out.  Bring the best men in to play the game, and make the game a friendlier and safer place for all.  Everyone’s a winner.

Sydney’s Jewish community adopts anti-homophobia/anti-transphobia policy

Hot on the heels of the Victorian Jewish community calling for respect for same-sex attracted Jews, the NSW Jewish community has passed a history-making motion for a policy on counteracting hatred and discrimination against gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender persons*.

The New South Wales Jewish Board of Deputies has voted overwhelmingly to implement an anti-homophobia/anti-transphobia policy.

This is fantastic news for the Jewish GLBT community as the NSWJBD finally recognises that there is a demographic within the Jewish community that needs more support.

Roy Freeman — J-Wire, May 26 2010

Congratulations to everyone who supported this history-making policy change, and most especially the dedicated team lead by Roy Freeman from Dayenu.

It is long overdue for the entire Jewish community to understand that same-sex attraction and gender-identity variation is normal and valid, just like being left-handed.  There is no room for intolerance of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, or who simply do not conform to heterosexual or conventional male/female stereotypes.  The Jewish community must move with the times and learn that these are normal, acceptable human behaviours.  The cost of not doing this will continue to be counted in human lives.

* 2010 copy of policy statement on Dayenu archives here.

Israel’s national GLBT association receives award from President Shimon Peres

Israel’s national gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) association, the Agudah, has received an award for volunteerism by the President of Israel Shimon Peres.  That’s quite an achievement.  Read the story in Hebrew here or a translated version here.

Respecting Gay Jews must lead to unconditional acceptance

This week’s edition of Southern Star covers the revised policy of the Jewish Community Council of Victoria (JCCV) that asks for the Victorian Jewish community to respect gay people (read my blog on that here).  This came about as a result of action by the Australian Jewish Democratic Society and people from the Bund movement.  Read their motion put to the JCCV in the October 2009 JCCV plenum meeting here.

This call for respect is definitely a good start.  However the downside of simply not saying bad things about gay people is that potentially no one says anything.  As an example, some people previously only said degrading things about gay people because they feel our homosexual ‘lifestyles’ are an abomination in the eyes of their religion.  Now these people may reluctantly feel an obligation to abide by the JCCV’s request to respect gay people, possibly because the organisation they are a member of is in turn a member of the JCCV, and so bite their tongue and don’t use degrading language to describe us.

So you then have the situation where people are not saying bad things about gay people, which is good, but they’re then not actually saying anything, which is bad, because it makes the issue of intolerance of homosexuality invisible.

The next step that the JCCV must take is to make the issue of intolerance of homosexuality visible.  It claims it’s serious about addressing mental health issues in gay people in the Jewish community because it has set up a reference group to investigate these issues.  It would be good to see some sort of public statement about what this reference group is actually doing, as it’s now 6 months down the track since it was established and there has been no public statement or any form of transparency on its operation.

It would also be good if the JCCV started acknowledging that these mental health issues and the alarmingly high suicidal behaviour didn’t just affect ‘GLBT Jews’ but actually affected the entire community.  I say this because the people who are most at risk are those who have same-sex attractions or gender identity issues but don’t or can’t identify their feelings outwardly and so are not visible as GLBT in the community.  They are “in the closet” and may be in denial of their sexuality or gender identity and in fear of anyone finding out.

These people are someone’s children, siblings or parents.  They’re someone’s friends or business partners.  They’re part of a community that supposedly cares about its people.  Supposedly.

Yes, respect is good, but it’s not enough.  Tolerance is only part of the way there.  Acceptance is the ultimate goal and it must be unconditional.

Michael.

Israel shames the Australian Jewish community by speaking out against homophobia

On the International Day Against Homophobia, May 17 2010, Israel’s Minister of Education, Gideon Sa’ar, said there is no room for homophobia, according to the Really Israel blog.

”There is no place for homophobia. Differences are not a cause for concern. Differences are part of the fabric of our society”

The Australian Jewish community has remained silent for too long on homophobia.  Whilst there are increasing numbers of young people in the community who are living openly as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, there is no mainstream support for same-sex attracted people and still no statement that intolerance of homosexuality is unacceptable.

Orthodox Judaism and other fundamentalist or extreme Jewish sects consider homosexuality incompatible with religious lifestyle.  This intolerance has been proven to put same-sex attracted people, comprising about 10% of the population, at serious risk of suffering mental health issues such as depression, anxiety or self-harm, potentially leading to suicide.

What is needed are more leaders like Gideon Sa’ar, Tzipi Livni, Shimon Peres and Benjamin Netanyahu to declare that homophobia in the (Jewish) community is unacceptable and that our society must completely respect and accept people who are same-sex attracted, as they do anyone else.

The Australian Jewish community must take example from Israel on this important matter and speak out immediately against deeply rooted ignorance, hate and intolerance of homosexuality.  Education is the key to success, and ultimately we’ll all be better off for it.

Sir Ian McKellan, Same-sex marriage and Equal Love

At the Equal Love Rally today, Sir Ian McKellan was one of many speakers to condemn the discrimination against same-sex couples by the Australian Government.

Either you have equality or you don’t.  There’s no partial equality.

View my photos from the day on Google Albums and Facebook.

Michael.