Apparently Allah can still hear your prayers, even when you have been facing the wrong direction. Reuters reported it here.
Ridwan said Muslims need not fear that their prayers have been wasted because they were facing the wrong way.
“Their prayers will still be heard by Allah,” he said.
Nonsense. Allah cannot be getting the clearest message if you’re not facing him when you are talking, otherwise what would be the point in having to face him. He needs to hear it directly, with you facing the right direction, all the time, every time. Otherwise he’ll be getting a garbled version of the prayers, muffled by the walls of the mosquitos (those little Spanish mosques), and everything else in his way.
This would precisely explain why when Muslims pray for world peace and harmony, love of all fellow humans, especially love of homosexuals (particularly those who engage in anal intercourse – but not love of heterosexuals who engage in anal intercourse because we know heterosexuals don’t engage in anal intercourse, don’t we?), and also the love of Jews, he hears it incorrectly and gets messages like “send planes into the World Trade Center towers”, “send suicide bombers to blow up bars in Bali”, “send suicide bombers into Israeli cities”, “send suicide bombers into hotels in India” and so on. He really must be getting such mixed messages to be confusing love and acceptance with death and destruction.
You know what? Islam is just as evil as the Catholic Church. There is no validation for it’s existence. No amount of praying in any direction will ever get a message out to a god or profit that doesn’t exist.
If I get a fatwah from this blog I’ll put it down to Allah having misheard a message of “Send Michael chocolates and love” because some deluded Muslim was facing the wrong direction when he was praying.
Insalata.
Michael.
Oy yoy yoy. Oy vey. Chocolates and insalata mista.
Loved this, Mike.
Please don’t become a lesbian. Or has allah heard that wrong too?
I still plan on becoming a lesbian, just one that has a hairy chest, beard and a large you know t’wat. There are some very attractive bear-like lesbians out there who I might just fancy…
Amen…
I think Billy Connolly summed up (radical) Muslims and their beliefs best.